A Pause in Direction
I need to confess.
Within a month, I failed my New Year’s commitment to leave my baggage back in 2012.
Well, maybe not complete failure, more of a pause. I spent months preparing to write the blog that has frolicked in my head for Oh. So. Long.
Then, at the end of 2o12, I abandoned my trunk of fear along with my other unwanted baggage. Left it behind (or so I thought). I gathered my courage, wrote the first post, and hovered over the “publish” button that would send it out into the world.
Sweaty-palms-heart-racing-stomach-churning-I-can’t-do-this froze. I was ready to grant my former trunk of fear full permission to halt my new endeavor.
You see, I tend to expect perfection in myself – not sure if I am fearful of failure or judgment. My current website is “homemade” in iWeb while I wait for completion of the “professional” site. The perfectionist in me balks at presenting an incomplete and imperfect site. I was inspired last year to put down perfectionism and start now, right where I stand.
Thankfully, as I grasped the fear trunk, I stopped to reflect and sent texts of SOS to two friends. They encouraged me to release my hold on fear and click “publish.”
I am ever so grateful.
My burden of unwanted baggage must remain behind me but complete abandonment of said pieces will take time. I might return for a quick visit now and then.
That is okay.
As long as I recognize the baggage, pray about it, seek wise counsel, take a deep breath, and resolutely take steps in the correct direction again.
What resolutions did you make for 2013?